“We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men and women are created equal.” In a list of resolutions, Stanton cataloged economic and educational inequities, restrictive laws on marriage and property rights, and social and cultural norms that prevented women from enjoying “all the rights and privileges which belong to them as citizens of the United States.”
~Elizabeth Cady Stanton
This may seem quite contrary because it is based on a definition from the urban dictionary, but a gender war is a “war” that is occurring online between men and women pushing both misogynistic and misandrist narratives while ignoring the ENTIRE social, legal and political landscape that shaped the center of this war… the feminist movement.
Apparently modern men despise modern women because he can no longer control her through childbearing and finances. These two things no longer keep a modern woman held hostage or captive. Now, that isn’t to say that these things won’t still keep a single woman economically depressed, but it does suggest that these things won’t keep her prisoner to an abusive husband or controlling ma. Ah well. Let’s move on. I want to start with saying MY focus in this gender war is always going to be on my demographics of Black men and women though data about all men and women will sometimes be used for historical purpose and scope.
The first wave of American Feminism was recognized around the late 1800’s when during the Women’s Rights Movement (1848- 1917) women fought to have a right to vote about things that affected them. Today, the modern black male’s blame the feminist’s movement for the destruction of the black family, but it is historically preserved that it was a prominent black woman named Mary Church Terrell who spoke for y’all when she was being told to shut up. She and other black women stepped down from this early run of the feminist movement in support of the solidarity between black men and black women.
Black men you are undoubtedly the reason why black women are single mothers out here because they are having your children.
-Between Me & You
The gender war among black men and women is a very disruptive place because when you look at statistics overall you can see how far black women have carried black men, black children and the black family. There has never been a time in American history where the black woman has had the luxury of not working beside her man to help carry the load of the financial burdens and the family. And let’s not forget how many times in history work has been available for her but not for him so she would often be the bread winner holding it together for both her children and her man. It seems how short the black male’s memory is because he seems to forget this, but you must blame it on his black father who was after the 1960’s historically absent. So, it becomes the young black male that has all this disdain and hatred for his reflection in black women that had no black men around. Black women can’t seem to stop being the saviors of black men because when it all comes down to it who do you think supports the majority of black families after the black father leaves his children? You can blame the single mother all you want but why are you not asking your fathers why they abandoned both you and your mother? I gathered this information from the 2019 government census where 50.4% of black children live in a single parent home and of that 45.7% of those children lived in a female headed home.
Children Living With One Parent by Cohabitation Status and Race and Hispanic
When this war is over who is going to win? I don’t care who wins in the other groups because statistically they stand by each other when it matters and go against whoever stands against them. But in this life, we tend to have black women who more often than not stand up and protect black men like African American activist Mary Church Terrell who spoke for y’all when she was being told to shut up. Not the other way around. When you want to know the truth about why black women abandoned the feminist movement it was to protect the rights of black men because black women hadn’t yet gotten any and needed to heavily rely upon the fortunes of their black husbands. Had black women maintained the course it is highly likely we would have more privileges and freedoms and not be looked upon as the lowest value women who breed fatherless black children. It is what it is. Black men these are your mothers, daughters and sisters. And you are the man that no other woman outside of us really wants due to statistics. No woman wants to be a single mother of a black child left behind by a black man. That’s the stereotype about y’all going around. That’s why y’all typically have to be the best of the best or the best she can get to get other races of women.
Black men want black women to follow their lead but according to pew research only 6% of them can head a household independently of a woman.
I am almost sure the lowest valued common denominator will have something to say but at the end of the day men still have most of the control in establishing the nuclear family. As a man this is your place. A woman does not choose the head but if a woman is not chosen, she still must still live life and be responsible for herself.
Black men expect women to submit to their leadership, but within the community they are not leading. What are we following? If we let you lead and you fail, what then would you like us to do about it or would you then blame us for that too as you have in past. Remember black men practically begged for independent women because so they as men wouldn’t have to pay the bills. An independent woman has her own right? So, if we did not go independent how would we as black women fare considering the solo black male can’t really keep a home or head one on his own.
Well, if we go by current events black women would basically be even more government dependent and mostly homeless because black men don’t head many homes (only 6% in total as compared to 32% by women) and when they do it is with a woman who offers more than half of her income as a wife or girlfriend. “Us” going half means you aren’t leading, and you need a partner by your side to basically take care of things. No one is judging you for that but how are you judging women who do it anyway when statistically you can’t? Unless you can carry all of the financial weight you aren’t leading anything and that’s just how the cookie crumbles when you get an independent woman you need to help pay for half of all things. The opposite of independent is dependent and black men have already stated repeatedly they won’t take care of a woman or their kids. Those are called dependents. The average black male thinks that being a provider is for simps but maybe that’s because his father was absent, and he felt that way about outside men because I’ve never met a man with a father in the home that felt that taking care of his home was being a simp.
A man I share responsibility with cannot lead me, but he can stand by my side as I am due my share of decision making based on the financial weight I carry. I am not his dependent. This leads me to say that black men are not necessarily winning because they are choosing to stay single, but neither are single parent black women. The debate is still out on single child free black men and women because honestly if you don’t find a partner on your level you really shouldn’t stoop down in this toxic environment and I say that for both men and women. Date on your level. The dusty’s know who they are and so do the bonquisha’s. This leads me to say that maybe men and women should consider whom they lay down with and come with cemented boundaries and lay claim to a high value future in spite of a low value past. Now, black men this means you too because unless you are under 29 chances are you already have a kid with a single black mother because that is who you are in proximity with, and the statistics don’t lie. Yall may read them poorly due to poor understanding of how math works but they do not lie. If she’s a single mom, it’s likely there is a single black father running around. Don’t be so naive.
Young black men have a far better chance of finding a single black woman with no kids if they don’t repeat what their own fathers have done and impregnate single black women. Black women, this goes for you too. Stop saying yes to Pookie and yes to Bryant from down the way with the reading glasses that studies science and math and talks about praying. I mention those things because of the solid facts that suggest that the more educated and faith based the man the higher your chances are that he will stick around and father your kids. This means walk away from the self-governed black man or woman that has shunned all higher beliefs and the fact that there must be a structure and that men must lead and that includes financially. If he can’t provide for you and the seeds don’t give in to him because he is a Pookie that will leave you a single mommy. Do not cut them any slack. If they will tell you it’s your womb your responsibility reason with an iron fist and expect nothing but the best especially if you have no children already by deadbeat black men.
Reasons To Rule That Womb With An Iron Fist
- Because if you get pregnant, he will blame you because it is your womb, and he doesn’t have any control over it. (Makes sense)
- You don’t want to become a single mother because you are shunned by even the lowest value of black men which makes no sense mainly because most of their own mothers are also single black mothers of bastard, fatherless black children. Make it make sense.
- Because it will make men upset, and they will realize that you have standards, and they have to meet them in order to have you. They will have to work harder but most will just degrade you and be upset.
- Because becoming a wife might mean nothing to you but it means the world to your child so rule with an iron fist and protect your high value future at all costs. Your future belongs to you until it doesn’t.
Now I know it may seem that I have taken the woman’s side, and, in a way, I have because for the life of me I can’t figure out why so many men leave their pregnant lover and child. I really don’t understand. If you don’t want the woman don’t get her pregnant that makes more sense. But most of you leave your child and are barely present. Not only do we see this in the community with our own eyes, but statistics support it. Black men stop being in denial of your absent fathers. We as the supposedly single black mothers know your fathers were not there. I can’t feel pity for a grown man who claims to be a leader but cannot lead his own semen so as to not enter into a womb he can’t see himself staying with.
As a woman myself I understand also the responsibility of making sure I don’t lie down with Pookie and let him get so comfortable as to find a home inside of my high value womb where he cannot afford to reside. I know not to patronize men who already have kids they don’t see or take care of because I would be next, for those men have no discipline and don’t care who they get pregnant. As a woman, we ought to choose a man who shows discipline both mentally and physically and who doesn’t hate all women because of his own father or mother’s past errors. But most black men fail to properly deal with their emotions as they were raised by the same loud, and masculine black women they love to talk about. Thier mothers were the first examples of the women the despise because water seeks its own level and can rarely go higher.
Next Steps in the Gender War on the Black Family:
Since the womb is ours, it is us that needs to be more judgmental and discerning with who we lay with according to the men that lay with us. I actually agree. That means we will tell most of them no so let that sink in. Statistically this would force many of us to be lesbians but if this is what men want in a gender war then this is what it is. Unfortunately, women have a biological need as does the survival of mankind to procreate with these same Pokies’ who blame us for their fatherless bloodlines. It’s daunting to me but here are a few things you can do to make sure you are not devalued by a Pookie.
- Don’t date them. These are the same men who cry about the cost of dates but will run up in you raw then blame you that you got pregnant.
- Get on birth control. I know that’s a lot of extra burden for us but if you want to live your life as you please and be open to high value men who will marry you and THEN start a family this is where it begins. Don’t let Pookie in.
- Get your education in spite of what the mostly under educated black man says. I can’t speak for white women as they are already understanding this. You cannot depend on the man who will try to humble you about your education while literally not having one and reading below a ninth-grade level. Amazing!
- Understand you can have an amazing life if you stay away from men that don’t value you and want to have sex with you and give you kids before a marriage. Sis, you don’t owe them not even for dates. There are men who will date you and not demand sex that leads to procreating. A lot of black men can’t do math so they won’t get the correlation and they will cry about the date money. AVOID THEM!
Now oddly enough marriage doesn’t cure all because once you divorce you are now just a divorced single mother or father. The jokes stop here.
The purpose of these types of posts is to have a little witty discourse but to really get down to the nitty gritty and how both black men and women need to grow up and realize who they are hurting. It’s us. It’s our kids. Most of them are already hurt hence the war being held really by neglected fatherless children that are over 25. Neither of you can divest too much because society thinks just as low of you as they do the other. They don’t want the fatherless children and their bloodlines. And when you think about it statistically that is you.
-Between Me & You
Anderson, L. R. (2022, February 2). Living arrangements of children: 2019. Census.gov. Retrieved November 14, 2022, from https://www.census.gov/library/publications/2022/demo/p70-174.html
Tamir, C., Budiman, A., Noe-Bustamante, L., & Mora, L. (2022, May 24). Facts about the U.S. Black population. Pew Research Center’s Social & Demographic Trends Project. Retrieved November 18, 2022, from https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/fact-sheet/facts-about-the-us-black-population/