It’s no misunderstanding that what I want out of this life is both power and control. I stand as an American Black woman who grew up in a single parent household of a mother with limited education. She was not a college graduate. That had a huge impact on my life and what I wanted to bring to this space was reality and how you get to blend that with the alternative life. We all do it. Some more privately than others but that’s something I’ve never believed in; hiding, because it made me very uncomfortable. As if what I was, was wrong. I am not wrong, and I will not allow anyone to tell me that I am.
I have spent a lot of time trying to really cultivate my voice in understanding that while many may not agree with me, I don’t have to just shut up. I can however soften it some. I may have to stand in my shit and be accountable for it, but I honestly would rather than that to continue to live a life I don’t actually agree with; constantly censoring myself. I have grappled with this for years, but I have to realize I need to just be myself and be genuine. I am who I am, and I have control over that, and that personal power excites me because I am learning to use it.
I am truly after power and control. No matter how I try to wrap it or box it the root of it? Oppression that I am trying to take hold of. This is not a political piece but if you asked me why I wanted to dominate men it is that they have always had a bit of power that I didn’t and I wanted it. IT is as simple as that. This is not a sexual conquest for me unless you think of power as erotic and then yea, let me tell you just how much my pussy can get wet. That is never what truly weak men want to hear but the ones that have any power to relinquish actually like hearing that whether or not you really mean it. They want to know your cruel and sadistic plan to actually conquer them and use that power to control all men. I find it mind numbing so many think it is all about sex. Sex is boring. Power is actually exciting and dramatic. If you have none to give you can’t understand. As a woman if you ever get to feel what it’s like you will never want to end it. The chase alone has a power over you that is just exhilarating.
Power and Reversals
Power is always about control and having control is always about power. Men want it. Women want it. Age doesn’t even matter. I want sheer and utter dominance over those who have power to give, but I know that in my current position I am fairly weak and not in that position so in the world of BDSM that is different. This is just my truth. Power is attractive to me, and I don’t pretend it isn’t. But in the darkness the cloak gives, men wish to surrender their power unto me. I don’t have the ability to take what I want or do what I want to do in the daylight, and I understand that and so I create for me a place where I can do whatever I want to do and take what I need to get. And that is to extract the power from each man that will let me bit by bit, dollar by dollar. The reality is that my authority over him is for a limited time, and should I let the bastard release all the blood and good sense might come rushing back to his head and he will feel like he has lost his fucking mind. The darkness starts to fade away.
He may feel he made a mistake. He may feel shame. He may feel remorse and you have to have the power to make him understand that he’s just a man and he is weak to his dark temptations and that he has committed no sin unlike any other. He has not erred in his ways beyond those you have just punished him for in which he understands he needed to ask forgiveness already. If any should ask why religion plays such a huge role it is because we understand the treacherousness of it all, but we are no more guilty of anything than the rest of y’all. But, for those who have a cross to bear this allows them to bare it all and be accepted and then to crawl back into the gleam of all the bright lights where they hide who they are with a cloak and mask.
Darkness resides over here and that is why most of what we do for so long has been hidden. It is now coming to the light. BDSM, kink, fetish, all of that is making its public mark. I love this for us. In other ways I hate it, but my time has come and is now going. That is the truth and the reason I have come to really want to leave this behind. It is for all of the up-and-coming new young ladies and men that will find themselves seeking, in the same spots. There is so much to learn. There is so much to teach and let’s be honest, I am excited to actually be in a position to do my part. It’s both exciting and erotic. When I created my persona, I always knew I would be here when I was in my forties because who I created was already much too wise and mature for my own young age. I was preparing for a future when I would get to reap all the seeds that had been planted. Now I wish to plant more of them.
I Want Even More of IT Now: Power
I want even more of it now, power. Understanding my full potential and prowess, what I can do with it and what I cannot. Knowing what I know and having the experience that I now have I feel compelled to plant even more seeds so that I may reap even more benefits at a later date and time. I would never pretend to be oh so pretentious and generous. I won’t fake it for you. I want what you’ve got, and I want lots of it, your attention, your shares, your likes and your comments. Granted, that’s not the actual power I seek but I know that what we had on other platforms has been missed and little 120-character bites are no match for the consumption most of you need and had grown used to over the years in secret.
Plus, that means content is getting dumber. It’s given in shorter bursts, and you’re left unsatisfied and unfulfilled and thinking we are all just broke ass, lazy money hungry sex workers. Some of us are that but there are a lot of us putting massive energy into draining you of your real power and continuously milking you for it. And that’s all I truly want is to milk you until my hands hurt and my wrists are tired. There will never be enough but until I must give in, I will have control over what is left here of me for you to see when I am finished.
I will relish in that, all the men I drained and took advantage of simply because I had the audacity to be myself. I am such a great mistress. Don’t forget that.
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